Vicarious Trauma: When the Trauma doesn’t happen to you directly

What is Vicarious Trauma? The word Vicarious itself means to experience something through the experience of another – by listening to their story, reading about their experience, or learning of what occurred in regard to another person. Some may have heard the phrase, often negative, of a parent “living vicariously through their child.” Such statements are usually directed at parents who are assumed to over-identify with their children’s activities, almost to the point of feeling or acting as if the child’s dance lessons, football games, or artistic pursuits are their own. It speaks to a blending of the self with another – the impact of something happening to someone else but affecting you.
Vicarious Trauma: When the Trauma doesn’t happen to you directly

Vicarious trauma is trauma that you experience through someone else experiencing it. Think of some early examples in your own life. As a child, did you ever see another child step on something sharp, and feel a twinge of pain in your own foot? Our capacity for empathy is huge as human beings. Unfortunately, this capacity to connect can also allow us to be vulnerable to the impact of trauma on others.

When the trauma is close to home

Vicarious trauma can be something one is exposed to at work, such as a police officer being overwhelmed by the details of a victim’s statement, or a doctor experiencing someone’s grief over a difficult diagnosis over and over as part of their job. However, unless you are employed in a specific setting where such things are common, you aren’t likely to experience this kind of vicarious trauma. For an adolescent, this could look more like experiencing trauma closer to their home or school, such as seeing classmates, peers, neighbors, or family members experience traumatic events.

For many students, the death of a student at their school, even one they didn’t personally know, can be jarring and bring up uncomfortable feelings. While for many, these feelings may be easy to move past with time, for others, there may be a more significant impact. Seeing a peer go through a substance use issue, become homeless, or experience a traumatic death can be hard for an adolescent to experience with their limited capacity to help as well as their potential inexperience with handling trauma.

It is helpful for adolescents to be able to learn distress tolerance skills so that they can manage supporting themselves even when nearby tragedy occurs. Ilearn wellness group’s programming teaches teens skills that help them build resilience to their own stress and that of others in their life.

When the trauma is bigger than home

Some vicarious trauma is on a much larger scale. Large scale tragedies, injustice, war, and natural disasters can be hard to see for all of us. This is even more emphasized when we are exposed to traumas that are representative of experiences we may have on a daily basis, such as experiences of racism, homophobia, or gendered violence (such as violence directed towards women).

It’s important to be aware that while these traumatic events are part of life, and we can’t necessarily avoid exposure to these systemic and wide-reaching traumatic stories, it can be helpful to support our adolescents in navigating a world where these kinds of catastrophic, hate-based, and traumatic experiences do influence our communities. Whether it’s a physical community – such as our neighborhood – or a community of individuals who share a shared experience – such as those who come from the same racial background, are immigrants, or share a sexual orientation or gender identity – these experiences can feel defeating, dehumanizing, and confusing.

Racialized Stress

Race-Based Traumatic Stress (RBTS) refers to stress experienced by those who experience racialized trauma, or trauma based on their racial or ethnic identity. These experiences can be direct experiences of trauma, sometimes called primary trauma, such as an attack, experiences of rejection, discrimination, or harm, or it can also be a secondary/vicarious trauma, such as watching a video of a racist attack or witnessing someone else be subjected to racial discrimination.

Racialized stress is real, difficult, and can impact someone whether they are an adolescent or an adult. For adolescents, it’s important to note that these exposures can be especially difficult as one develops their independent identity. For example, being Asian American and learning of the increased attacks on Asian Americans following the arrival of covid-19 can be alarming.  One study, by the Pew Research Center, showed that in 2021 one third of the study participants (adult Asian Americans who spoke English) reported fearing someone may threaten or physically attack them (Neil G. Ruiz, 2023). This racialized violence does not just stop at the actual attacks that occurred; social media, memes, jokes, and bullying trickle down from the news and community level awareness to the classrooms and one to one interactions of many adolescents.

Conclusion

Vicarious trauma is a difficult, but often unavoidable, part of life. Supporting your adolescent as they are exposed to these situations can help them navigate the challenges of growing up and help them understand boundaries and the role that boundaries play in their lives. At ilearn wellness group, we can support you in supporting your adolescent as we involve the family in our treatment of the adolescent’s needs. Contact us today to learn more.

Neil G. Ruiz, C. I. and Z. T. (2023a, November 30). Asian Americans and discrimination during the COVID-19 pandemic. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/2023/11/30/asian-americans-and-discrimination-during-the-covid-19-pandemic/

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